advice / dating / my relationship with me / relationships / single

Upping Your Game: Practice-Dates



You know how, sometimes, you give other people some really great advice, but you realize you fail to incorporate it into your own life?

It occurred to me recently that while I’ve been dishing out all of my fabulous advice, I really haven’t been seizing the opportunity to put it into practice. Especially over the last year. I got into the mindset that I didn’t have to.
I wasn’t looking for anything serious and since I always had Jake to fall back on when I wanted some company to watch a movie, or *ahem* to get my rocks off, I really didn’t have to force myself into looking for anything more.
Since I recently decided that I’m finally ready to look for someone who may do something for me somewhere other than in my panties (preferably the head or the heart, but I’m not too picky) I realized that I totally did this whole “being single” thing, wrong.
Sleeping with someone was absolutely no excuse not to get out there and date – even if my intention was to go home alone at the end of the night (and maybe never call them again).
I shouldn’t have used Jake as a safety net.
I should have been putting myself out there.
I should have been practice-dating.

I tell my friend, Nicole, all the time that even though she’s on the fence about whether or not she’s ready to jump into the fishpond, she should tentatively put herself out there.
That before she officially decides she’s ready to find someone, she should go out on a “practice date.”

What is a practice date?

A practice date is when you go out with someone you wouldn’t normally find yourself attracted to, you still has some of the qualities you look for in a man. (Or a woman.)
Someone who isn’t typically your type.
Somebody you wouldn’t normally go out with – somebody comfortable.

This makes for the perfect no-pressure type date, where you can flex your dating muscles a little bit and remind yourself how to converse and flirt again! There is nothing worse than having a date with someone who you really like and feeling so uncomfortable about the situation that they misinterpret it as you not being interested and then never calling you for a second date.

Dating is an art-form.

It takes practice to perfect and it takes you actually putting yourself out there, in order to get any of that valuable practice and experience.

Since high-school, I’ve only been single for a few months at a time – I’ve just always been in long-term relationships, including my last, and this last (excruciatingly long) stretch of singledom, has been pretty much my only genuine experience as a single adult. It was a foreign concept to me.

I have to say though, I’m glad it happened.

I don’t think there is anything in the world quite as interesting as being single and dating.
I just wish I had realized it sooner!
I’ve been having so much fun with my girlfriends, exploring the possibilities, that I’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself.
I’ve stopped feeling like I shouldn’t be alone and that I should just find somebody.
We’ve turned something that we’ve all been struggling with and turned it into something amazing!
I think we’ve become the embodiment of what the Sex and The City girls would be, if there was ever a middle-of-nowhere-Canada version.
We are actively meeting other singles, having fun playing games and exploring where we live – seeing everything from a fresh set of eyes!
(Don’t worry, future blog posts are coming on alllllllll of the above! 😉 )

So, in conclusion:
I’m taking my own advice, I’m taking my own advice, and I’m going on some motherfucking practice dates, because I want to be on the top of my game when the time comes to go out (or ask out!) a guy I’m truly interested in.
And I think you all should too.

If you decide to up your single-game and put yourself out there for a practice-date, I want to hear about it!
Blog about it, and I’ll link up to it – or even leave your experience(s) in the comments below!

Let’s have fun with our single status!


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