children / life / Little Dude / photos / relationships / Single parenting

I’m Pretty Sure All I did Was Blink…

…and he went from this:

to this:

To this:

I’m kind of freaking out here. How in the world did I ever become the mother of a kindergartener so quickly?

Luckily for me we’re easing into it, in a way. He has school 2-3 days every week and it’s kind of like preschool, except with longer days and bus rides. He is totally in love with going to school and learning – loves his teacher and his friends – and he wants to go every single day.
It’s definitely been a harder transition for me than it has been for him. I think most people expected a tear riddled day but I think it was a little bit worse – I didn’t cry but I did crawl right back into bed after his early morning departure.
I remember B asking how I was handling it and telling him that I pretty much just wanted to stay in bed until it was time to pick up the Little Dude. I’d love to say I didn’t but I did until well after noon.
It was kind of sad, not gonna lie.
The next day was better and at this point it’s almost easy to send him off into this big old world now.
It helps that I volunteer for the lunch program at his school and can peek into his classroom once a week.. lol

It’s kind of a scary thing, reaching this milestone.
He tells me he’s an adult now.
Just yesterday he asked if I would take him to get his “driver’s card” and if he could drive a jeep like the one I had.

Lord help me now.

My kid is growing up way too fast – at this rate I’m pretty sure he’s going to be a grown up before I am.
I still want him to be small enough to be strapped into a stroller and little enough to be rocked to sleep.
But, he’s his own active, independent, outspoken little person. It’s a struggle, but I’m dealing with it.

Texts and phone calls with B aside, I wish that I had someone here to share all of this with. Someone to remind to me to appreciate every single day of this new adventure because all too often I get caught up in the everyday and don’t really step back to take a look at the bigger picture.

I’m accepting this change in our life (that I’ve been preparing for, for the last year, although you probably couldn’t tell) and I’ve been trying to move on and not dwell on what I don’t have and trying to look forward to the future. I’ve even gone so far as to donate all of his baby things – clothes, strollers, playpens, car seats, and toys – with the exception of his crib and his highchair and a (very) few select baby outfits. It’s kind of put me in this weird place mentally and I’m not sure how to deal with it because I’m not sure what it is exactly. I don’t know if it’s negative or positive or if it just… is?

Either way, his school year has started and he’s thrilled.
I just can’t believe how much he has grown up over such little time. All kinds of people – friends, family, heck even strangers in the mall – tell you to enjoy it because it passes quickly but you never really know what they mean until times like this.
This is just crazy.
It’s nuts.

I still can’t believe that I’m the parent of a kindergartener.
Really and truly.
Even if he has been counting down the days for the last 6 months – and even if he is already counting down the days until he gets his “driver’s card.”

Sheesh.

I found out, this week, 5 years ago that I was pregnant. I wish I could rewind the last 5 years and go through it in slow motion. I wish I could have memorized every single second of the last 5 years. I’m afraid I’m going to lose it all getting caught up in the everyday.
Life just moves too quickly sometimes.

I am so proud of him and so completely terrified at the same time. *sigh*

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5 thoughts on “I’m Pretty Sure All I did Was Blink…

  1. He is SUCH a cutie 🙂
    My pregnancy is flying by like crazy…I can only imagine how it feels sending your kid off to school for the first time…EEK!!!
    xo

  2. He’s gorgeous and you can tell he’s thrilled! This is a big deal for him! Remember how long it seemed to take to grow up? He is so proud of this milestone, as you are, because to him it’s taken FOREVER to get there! 🙂 My daughter is 13 … how the hell did I end up with a teenager? I always say the days are long but the years go so quickly. But it’s a beautiful ride! Enjoy it. And Congrats, too! 🙂

  3. In a few years you can show him this post, and he’ll know how proud of him you are. 🙂 I’m not a parent so I can’t really relate, but it sure seems beautiful from the outside.

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