BAD dates / dating / relationships

Dates, Dinner And… Balloon Animals?


You know when you meet someone and you know instantly that they aren’t your type – or worse yet you kind of find them irritating, and they make your skin crawl – and then you go out with them anyway?

Yeah. That.

This goes far beyond comparing every guy I meet to B. It wasn’t just because I kind of wished I’d been there with someone else – no, this was a geniune freaking disaster. D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.
The only redeeming thing about this night was that he brought me flowers – although he asked me earlier what kind were my favourite, so I’d kind of seen that coming. Also, in case you were wondering, he didn’t bring my favourite, he just asked what they were, but I can’t really fault him for that – he still brought flowers.
So let’s say, that out of a 10, he’s at an 8 at this point.
If he’s going to go out of his way to bring flowers then maybe it won’t be so bad.
(HA. Wrong.)
He loses two points just because he’s not my type.

A little background on this guy:

He works out at my gym, he’s been pursuing me since November. Aside from JME, I never gave in to his advances just because he really kind of annoyed me. He just wasn’t my type and his personality just irked me.
It bothered me that even though I continued to turn him down, he continued to pursue me.

Eventually at some point in January I gave in.
Probably the wrong message to send to someone you genuinely aren’t interested in but I thought maybe if we went out once he’d see that we really weren’t compatible. That after that, he’d leave me alone to workout in peace.

I agreed to dinner.

I didn’t want to go. I seriously contemplated canceling but didn’t – only because I thought going out with him would get him to see that he just wasn’t my type.
Turns out it didn’t matter anyway.

He stood me up.

Conveniently I stopped seeing him around the gym for a week or two.
Then he started texting.
If anyone ever made me regret giving out my phone number (not something I like to do) it would be him.
Then he started approaching me again, in February.
I kept turning him down, consistently.
He continued to ask, consistently.

Recently, I gave in.

Want to know how it went?
I’m going to write six words and let you decide for yourself:
Mexican-Italian restaurant on kids’ night.

There was a clown. Making balloon animals.
And probably 40 SCREAMING children.
40 screaming children that were afraid of clowns.
40 screaming children that were terrified of the balloon animals that were popping all over the restaurant.
‘Nuff said.

Minus two points.

This guy was not my type, in every sense of the word.
Our personalities clashed and we had nothing to talk about.
Nothing in common other than the gym we workout at.

Physically he looked like a Jersey Shore reject.
Like “The Situation,” but an oranger shade of spray tan.
I kept calling him “The Rejectuation” in my head all night.
(It was funnier at the time, I assure you.)

This boy liked to talk. About himself. A lot.

Minus two points.

He literally spent the whole night talking about himself.
He was so into “our conversation” that he didn’t even notice that I hadn’t said a word – other than ordering my (terrible) dinner.
Not ONLY did he not notice that I hadn’t said a word – he didn’t notice that I hadn’t even looked up from my phone (I’m a terrible date when I have no interest in being there) and that I’d spent the entire evening texting and emailing other people – from the time my salad arrived until he dropped me off at home.

Minus two points.

I couldn’t get out of his car fast enough. Not. At All.
Nice guy, really, but so not my type.
He off-handedly suggested we go out again sometime.

I pretended not to hear him.

Minus two points for being so out of tune with this date that he’d even suggest it.

He called a couple days later and I let it go to voicemail. The only other time I’ve seen him since was at the gym, after my workout, when he was waving at me and trying to get my attention through the window in the weight room.

Minus two points for being oblivious to me not being interested.

So out of a 10 he’s at a negative two.

Never, never happening again.
Next time I’m just going to go with my gut instinct and continue to decline the offer.


Let me close this post by saying that I’m really not as negative and close-minded of a person as it probably sounds to some. I genuinely had no interest in going out with this guy to begin with but figured there was no harm in an attempt at dinner out with him.
The conversation, right from the beginning, was all one-sided – I couldn’t get a word in edgewise.
I have nothing against restaurants with kids’ nights (hello, I AM a mama after all) or clowns or even balloon animals.
It was just the hilarious combination of everything that made it so utterly horrible.
I do have to say though, the flowers were beautiful.



7 thoughts on “Dates, Dinner And… Balloon Animals?

  1. Oh, yikes!! I would have deducted WAY more points at a time than you! I mean, it’s one thing to be adorably clueless – it’s another to be completely oblivious (and overly persistent)! It stops being flattering and just gets weird!
    I am so glad you survived…perhaps you should work out at a women’s gym haha.

  2. Hey, no worries. You gave it a shot. It didn’t work out. You’ve done both of yourself a favour. Your date sounded quite lam and any man who is not in tune to you … shouldn’t be with you. Enjoy the flowers:)

  3. Hahaha! Love this post! So funny and I think you handled yourself just fine. I remember a date like that. Uggg…. lesson learned.

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