dating / relationships

The Brush Off.


I don’t know what is wrong with me, honestly.

It’s like it doesn’t matter what I do, or what point in the relationship – or courtship – we are at, it is always inevitable that I will get the brush off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I haven’t found the “right” guy yet.
When I do, it won’t happen.
Yada, yada, yada.


In all seriousness though, I’ve never had a relationship with someone that didn’t end almost as soon as I gave in to their advances.
It’s like as soon as the thrill of the chase is over, they aren’t interested anymore.
It doesn’t matter how long it’s been, how much we have in common or how much we (seem to) enjoy our time together.
It happened with JME, The Ex, The Dad, KO, & Gold and it never fails.

They’ll pursue me for as long as it takes for me to give in and give it a shot and it always ends in a brush off.
Even if it takes 2 years for it to happen, like with JME.

There was a guy at the gym who asked me out, consistently, every time I ran into him.
When I finally caved – he stood me up.

I keep hearing “Yes, yes, yes!” Only to hear a barely audible “Nevermind.”
Or worse, nothing at all.
“Yes I want you, yes I want this.”
Then: nothing. I stop hearing from them. They move on – the grass is always greener, you know.

Clearly the only part of this that I’m any good at is “the chase.”

I’m not good at the parts that come after that.
I want to be.
I’d like the opportunity to be.

I don’t like games. I don’t like drama.
I want something that is what it is.
No facade.

I feel like I need to just step back and just.. stop.

I’m tired of hearing that someone is interested in me, that they can’t believe how much they like me, that they want to be with me – just to have them leave without an explanation.
What is the point in feigning interest?

It’s turning me into a negative, irritable and miserable person.
That’s not who I am and it’s frustrating that I’m letting myself feel this way.


If all I’m meant to be for now, or even in the future, is a single mom – that’s fine.
But I could do without the heartache.


10 thoughts on “The Brush Off.

  1. *sigh*

    Oh girl… I hate to hear this. 😦

    Hang in there and vent away all of that frustration. You’ll find your happy, in spite of it.


  2. Hm. Okay…well, what is it that all of these men have in common? Have they all “chased” you to get you? Just a thought, but how about the next dude that asks you out, don’t make him chase you for it? Just say, “sure”, without turning it into a big deal for them?

    Honestly, I don’t see this as you doing something wrong, or failing at being in relationships…it just seems to me that a certain kind of guy is attracted to you. Now all you need to do is figure how to attract other types of men into your life. πŸ™‚

    I know this is frustrating for you. But honestly? I think it’s them, not you.


    • I don’t know, maybe chase isn’t the right word?
      Maybe with the gym guy – but that was for a good reason. I am genuinely not interested and I have no interest in pursuing anything with him.
      With JME it was a little different. It was more about being hesitant to start something that was going to be long distance relationship.

      I think you’re right about a certain kind of guy being attracted to me. K said the same thing to me this weekend – I even wrote a post about it lol

      Thanks MS. πŸ™‚

  3. I don’t think you’re failing @ relationships, I think you’re just looking for more than what they’re willing to give. You understand that you’re a package; you need someone to date you & your child & will give them the security they need. Meanwhile, they don’t get that.

    You are smart, gorgeous, independent, brave, caring, loving, thoughtful, generous, & unique & some guy is gonna chase you & realize he gets the prize of loving an amazing woman. Remember, Cinderella only got her prince @ the end of the story, not the start. There were rats at the start.

  4. Wow, that’s a pretty honest and brave post. I can certainly feel for you. Dating is tough enough, especially with children.
    It sounds to me like these guys are the types who are just out to find women that are a challenge so they can feel like they conquered something. I don’t know what the answer is for you, I don’t even know my own, but I’m pulling for you.

    • Most of the time I’m more of a positive person than this.
      I try not to let things get to me like they did here but sometimes it happens.

      I can’t wait to figure out all of the answers though. lol

  5. I feel the pain. I haven’t met the right gal yet and gave up looking it seems that the chase is the fun part given I’m a guarded person and don’t let people around my children unless I’m sure I can trust them (single dad here). And in my case it seems that the women I have met either want to jump way too fast.. One wanted to sleep over at my house while my kids were there after hanging out with her once, or they find out I have children and walk away. Ive read some of your posts and you seem like a really good person and mom, as cliched as it sounds good things come with time πŸ™‚ we’re bound to meet someone eventually, we’re much too young to feel so bitter about it yet πŸ™‚

  6. This is really interesting…. the only thing I can think is to never end the chase… keep them guessing constantly. But then, at what point does the game ever end? Have you ever read Why Men Love Bitches? It’s my favourite “self-help” book. It’s quite comical.

    P.S. Fabulous blog theme!! πŸ˜‰

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